The First Regional Conference Under the Patronage of Becutan ‘Parenting Then and Now’ Held

The first regional Becutan conference, ‘Parenting Then and Now’, brought together numerous experts, public figures, and parents with the aim of promoting and discussing topics that are extremely important for anyone who wants to ensure a healthy, happy, and carefree childhood for their little ones. Accepting the needs of modern times and the challenges of contemporary parenting, Becutan took special pleasure in organizing the first regional conference, which focused on caring for the child from the first day of birth, moderated by actress Mirna Medaković Stepinac and host Zarko Dimitrioski.

From the question ‘Do mothers or grandmothers know best?’ to the significance of fathers’ roles in a child’s life from day one. We explored themes of love, setting boundaries, and balancing parenting roles, but with an emphasis on equal parenting. The most important thing is that there is no perfection, only unconditional love, dedication, and a strong desire to be the best parent to your child.

The conference was dedicated to all delicate topics and important challenges that parents face today, for which the environment, influenced by social media, increasingly creates the illusion of a perfect image. Is there a right measure for parental love when raising children, and does love imply boundaries? How has the approach to parenting changed over the decade? Are there correct answers to many parental dilemmas? This was just part of the topics discussed by public figures and experts from various fields related to child development.

Do mothers or grandmothers know better? Babies do not come into the world with an instruction manual!

Dr. Amra Junuzović Kaljić, a pediatric specialist, emphasizes that there must be a common foundation in family roles then and now.

– What connects us is love for children. Although they may have different methods, mothers and fathers, as well as grandmothers and grandfathers, all have one common goal – the best for their children and grandchildren – she says.

Prim. Dr. Marina Pop-Lazarova, a neonatologist, in her discussion emphasized the essential role of the fact that every child is different, hence generalizing perfect parenting is often a source of additional stress for the parents themselves.

Dr. Irena Bralić, a pediatric specialist, highlighted the importance of an individual approach in the process of children’s growth, without the pressure of the imperatives of today’s parenting, which is ‘to be modern’.

Dr. Goran Vukomanović, a pediatrician and cardiologist, when asked ‘Do mothers and grandmothers know best?’ points out that mothers and grandmothers, as well as fathers and grandfathers, are extremely important to pediatricians.

– Their role is immense; they can see something that we do not see, regardless of our knowledge and experience, and their feeling when it comes to their children is what we truly respect the most – he says.

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BOTH LOVE AND BOUNDARIES – Only love can be immeasurable; for everything else, it is necessary to have boundaries!

Is there a balance between emotions and setting boundaries in the parenting process? How often do parents question whether they acted correctly? Is gentle parenting more lenient towards children, and is that good? These were some of the topics discussed by mothers and experts, presenting their views on eternal parental dilemmas.

– Love is not rewarding, just as boundaries are not punishment. We must be aware that boundaries are, in fact, a form of love. One of the most beautiful definitions of parenting is ‘roots and wings.’ The root is the basic foundation where the child is accepted as a whole – with all their virtues and flaws. The wings are support for exploring the outside world, facing challenges, and learning through victories and defeats, with the security that there is always a place to return to. When we talk about love and boundaries, it can be said that roots and wings are two sides of the same coin. We give roots to children through love, while we set boundaries through rules and guidelines for behavior that allow them to be independent – emphasized Jelena Holcer, an educator and founder of the ‘Parenting School’.

– I do not believe that setting boundaries, even intentional punishment in the educational process, means emotional distancing from children. On the contrary, boundaries must exist, but that requires an individual approach. Every time brings its challenges. If for me in childhood the greatest punishment was not being allowed to play outside, for my children that would have no effect now – emphasized host Sanja Kužet.

– Love for children is immeasurable, but boundaries must exist. Far from it, they sometimes manipulate us, and those boundaries are breached. There is a significant difference between past and present upbringing. My husband and I combine traditional and modern approaches to parenting. We try to instill values that our parents taught us, apply some things that we consider important as children, and yet adapt to the ‘new’ times and new generations, emphasized entrepreneur Lejla Filipović.

– In the parenting process, our example shows children what the boundaries are. Of course, children test the boundaries, but it is up to us as parents to set those boundaries by our example. We give children a framework through our behavior, and children learn best that way. Parents are there to give children immeasurable love on that journey – said Dr. Beck.

DAD IS A HERO – Fatherhood is not just a duty but also love!

The final panel of the First Regional Becutan Conference, dedicated to fathers and their special role during the growth and development of children, provided sincere answers to questions about the emotional transformation in understanding the father’s role, as well as firm stances on the generally accepted valuation of the mother’s primary role.

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– The question of whether a father helps is a completely wrong narrative. It is banal to equate caring for one’s own child with helping the wife. The father’s role is entirely equal in a family’s daily life – emphasizes actor Petar Benčina.

Agreeing that a strong bond between father and child begins from the first day of birth, the panelists spoke about the father’s role in emotional child development through their own experiences.

– The moment I became a father, I realized that life is reduced to the period ‘before the birth of the child’ and the period ‘after the birth of the child’. At that moment, I realized that I lacked real concerns in life – emphasizes actor and host Tarik Filipović.

Actor Saško Kocev was adamant that the key to a healthy parenting approach lies in immediacy in family or partner relationships when it comes to the division of responsibilities:

– Parenting is not an excel spreadsheet. Spontaneous organization depending on the obligations of both parents is probably some secret to success. It is natural for me to take care of the child when my wife goes on duty; just as it is for her when I am filming. No stamp and signature are needed for successful parenting. On the contrary! – said Kocev.