Toxic Trend: Teenagers on TikTok Seek Advice from Complete Strangers on How to Be More Attractive

As if parents of tweens and teenagers didn’t have enough challenges in life, social media platforms have served them yet another alarming trend. The notorious subreddit r/AmIUgly, where users ask complete strangers if they are ugly, has also taken off on TikTok and gone viral. As recently revealed by Vice magazine, tens of thousands of kids (some as young as 12) are posting something akin to casting videos and asking users of this social network, which boasts over 800 million users, for their opinion on their physical appearance and seeking advice on how to look better.

Requests look something like this: 'Please tell me how to look better without plastic surgery. Feel free to be cruel, I can take it and I'm ready to change anything about myself.' While responses on Reddit were much gentler, the TikTok crowd literally takes the instruction 'be cruel' to heart, posting comments like 'definitely a smaller chin', 'you're boring, get over it' or 'you look like you have third-degree burns.'

The higher number of negative comments on TikTok compared to Reddit can be explained by the different age demographics of users. On Reddit, 41 percent of users are between 25 and 35 years old, while the rest are evenly distributed among younger and older users. On TikTok, however, 69 percent of users fall into the target group of 13 to 24 years old; a group that is more critical, crueler, and less aware of the consequences of their words.

Victims of the Trend

As one user, 17-year-old Annabelle, shared with Vice reporters, out of boredom she asked her 20 followers what they thought of her appearance and went to sleep. In the morning, TikTok recorded 50,000 views, and by the time Vice published the article, it had reached a quarter of a million views and 2,500 comments. Initially, the comments were mild, with users advising her to use eye shadow or change her makeup style, but later much crueler advice started pouring in.

The young girl was suggested to get plastic surgery, as nothing else could help her, leading her to wonder if she was really that ugly? A similar experience was shared by 16-year-old Ragan, who confessed to Vice that she thought she was immune to negative comments on platforms until she asked the audience for advice on how to be more attractive.

Although she expected to receive advice regarding style, hairstyle, or makeup, users pointed out things she couldn't change like 'your eyes are too big', 'your eyebrows are too far apart'. Today, every time she looks in the mirror, she thinks about the things that are 'wrong' with her, because that was stated by a handful of complete strangers.

Annabelle and Ragan are just some of the users who have started feeling anxiety and symptoms of so-called 'body dysmorphia disorder' (body dysmorphia disorder, BBD) due to negative comments. This increasingly common disorder among young people falls into the anxiety group and arises when a person focuses on perceived flaws in their physical appearance.

Instagram Face

As Kitty Wallace from the Body Dysmorphia Disorder Foundation explained to Vice, the word 'perceived' is key here because it does not refer to actual flaws but rather imaginary ones or, conditionally speaking, 'defects' that a person thinks others see (perceive). The defect is, of course, exaggerated, and young users who experience symptoms of BDD or 'classic' anxiety are often able to recall the exact comment that triggered negative sensations.

Although, as Wallace notes, social platforms are not the first and only cause of BDD (the first case was diagnosed back in 1891), they certainly exacerbate symptoms. – One of the symptoms of BDD is – constant comparison. Users who continuously 'scroll' through profiles of people whose appearances are enhanced by filters or cosmetic procedures begin to feel insecure – said Wallace.

And while the (controversial) question 'Am I ugly?' on Reddit was reduced to short answers, often encouraging moments, commentators on TikTok, even the mild ones, do not take diversity into account but reduce their 'advice' to Eurocentric beauty standards. In other words, there is little discussion about how someone can beautify themselves or highlight the most beautiful parts of their face or body (although sharing such advice is also controversial), but rather users are encouraged to resemble the so-called Instagram Face or 'Instagram face'.

This phrase was coined by Jia Tolentino from The New Yorker describing Instagram beauty standards: 'smooth skin without pores, high, round cheekbones, cat-like eyes, and long, cartoonish eyelashes; a small nose and full, juicy lips'. However, as Wallace adds, the problem is not only for those whose appearance is far from the 'Instagram face' but also for those who do resemble it. They, in turn, seek validation from the audience, and the more they seek it, the more they need it. Once it is absent, their self-confidence begins to plummet.

This toxic 'TikTok' trend could shake the self-confidence of even adult users, who are secure in themselves, because the more a person focuses on physical appearance, the more insecure they become, exaggerating their flaws whether real or imagined. For kids seeking their place in the sun and whose reality is reduced to comparison, this and similar trends cause immense harm.

Yet, even more astonishing is the fact that educational institutions, politicians, and relevant authorities continue to avoid this topic and act as if someone else, not their own children, is dealing with these challenges.