Recipe for Softer Cohabitation – The Constant Bickering Between Milanović and Plenković Can Only Be Resolved by Forrest Gump

For months, we have been witnessing the bickering between Zoran Milanović and Andrej Plenković in the toughest cohabitation yet between the President of the Republic and the Prime Minister and leader of the parliamentary majority. Exchanges of harsh words, even insults, have become part of their and our daily lives. Perhaps the political space would be cleaner if the two of them resolved their disagreements far from the spotlight, in a mutual competition of another kind. However, first – what they must not practice against each other:

Wrestling: Milanović probably follows his son’s wrestling career, so he would have the advantage.

Building Lego blocks: Plenković builds them with his son, so he would have the advantage.

Boxing: It is unlikely that Plenković would accept this as Milanović once trained in this sport. However, at a sparring session, he was once beaten by a member of HDZ – Damir Škaro.

Basketball: Milanović is taller, but Plenković has a better shot (he trained basketball and even played against Veljko Mršić; although he lost). In any case, I do not recommend either of them choosing any contact sport on opposing sides; unfortunately, they have not learned to play together in the same team.

And now a few suggestions:

Knowledge quiz: Both want to show that they are the smartest, so this is an opportunity to showcase their knowledge. The only problem is that this type of competition would not contribute to expelling excess aggression.

Tennis: The conclusion of the Davis Cup is probably still fresh in their minds; perhaps they could copy some moves. The advantage is that they can put all their strength into each stroke, but the problem is that the ball would most often end up in the net or out of bounds.

Squash: More acceptable than tennis because every ball can be hit with full force, but there is too great a danger of close encounters.

Swimming: It could serve as an intermezzo in which they would contemplate too much, so I suggest exclusively the butterfly stroke.

Motorsport: One could expect off-track excursions, so I suggest karting instead of more expensive cars or, even better – driving small cars in an amusement park.

Target sports: Billiards could be boring, while archery, shooting, and even darts would be, despite all safety measures, too challenging and risky. Therefore, they should be limited to running rings or hoops. An alternative is bowling – they can throw the ball as hard as they can and thus blow off steam, even if it is ‘into nothing’.

Curling: It could be an interesting duel, although a bit too gentle for the two of them, and the one who loses would pull their colleague who sweeps the ice (Frka Petešić or Orsat Miljenić).

Card games: Bridge would be ideal, but it is played in pairs, and neither of them – as is known – would be able to find a worthy partner. Preferans is played in threes, but the question is whether Tomašević would agree to play against them, and they against him.

Ultramarathon: Some other sports allow for greater release, but if we let them run a hundred kilometers once a month, we are calm while they run and while they recover. Moreover, in this discipline, they have a great role model – Forrest Gump.

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