Balancing Family and Professional Life Leads to ‘Burnout’ for More Fathers

Most discussions about balancing family and work life are related to the role of women in society, but there is an increasing awareness of the pressure that fathers feel in this regard. Not all families are satisfied with the role of the breadwinner father, and for many, the ideal type is a professional who successfully combines work with the role of a caring parent. Achieving that ideal is very difficult, and many men do not want to seek help. There is a serious danger that fathers will ‘burn out’ while coping with the burdens of family and work life, say German experts.

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Those who strive the hardest to be perfect fathers and husbands are particularly at risk, said Helen Heinemann from the German IBP Institute for the Prevention of Psychological Crises. Many men set themselves unrealistic expectations, and there are also employers who do not understand all the demands of family life. A man is expected to give his maximum at work, regardless of how much time he must devote to his family.

Every father who wants to help himself should consciously invest time and energy in achieving that goal, says Robert Richer, who is responsible for education.

Fathers who can afford it are advised to take on some part-time work if they feel they need to spend more time with their family.

“Many fathers say ‘That won’t work for me.’ Then I ask them ‘Why?’ What is preventing you from doing that? What is more important to you? Your child or your employer?” says Richter. One solution is to get involved in parenting support groups, where they can share experiences and seek advice, he adds.

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Heinemann says that employers are not the only source of pressure and that there are women who can create the impression that their partner is not fulfilling the role of a parent satisfactorily.

“This frustrates men terribly,” said Heinemann. If a woman wants her partner to be successful in this, she must give him the opportunity to do so, she added. This means not just criticizing everything by her own standards. If it happens that the father does not have a treat in his pocket when he comes home, it is not the end of the world, says the German expert.

Robert Richter believes there is no need to dig into traditional parental roles, especially when both mother and father have careers. The best strategy is to avoid an imbalance in responsibilities that can cause unnecessary stress in the parent, a job that is already very responsible in itself.

If you are thinking at a business meeting about whether your child has brushed their teeth or what they are wearing, then you are at risk of ‘burnout’, which applies equally to fathers and mothers, emphasized Richter.