Goals, goals, and again new goals. Being successful means achieving them, surpassing them, and already being ready for the next period and of course again exceeding the goals. Achieving business goals is as desirable and necessary as the ambition to always be better, even the best. ‘It’s all OK,’ will say a coaching client who sees no problem in it but sighs and says: ‘OK, but what is the meaning of it all?’.
Accepting and Hearing
Such reactions are not what we expect from those who seem to others as a role model and embodiment of success. How would it be if they admitted that they wonder, ‘Does all this make sense?’. In coaching, they need to feel safe to share this. What a coach provides is acceptance and listening. Someone might ask: ‘Is that all?’. Yes, that ‘all’ is actually a lot: to accept and to hear.
1. Accept: This means accepting that everything is perfectly fine. This is the opposite attitude of what someone in the family, team, or circle of friends might say, who might try to advise and change opinions or, in the best of intentions, comfort. To accept means to embrace the current state as a starting point for change. The sooner we accept what is, the sooner we can talk about what we want and need. A non-judgmental attitude about how something should look different right now is crucial at this moment.
2. Listen: This means really listening to everything that has been said. Everything. It is well known how we interpret a lot, how we strive to understand. However, the effort to understand is a process of comparing with our opinions, norms, ideas. Listening is both an activity and a reflection of the intention to receive and accept. Remember the last time someone really listened to you and continued to listen without interruption. Someone once said that a good friend is one who listens to all your craziness and says, ‘Tell me more.’ This attitude, free from irony or judgment, is pure listening.
