Can We Overdo Polishing Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence. What is it? The simplest definition is – belief in oneself or self-perception. Everyone has it, or rather tries to have it, to build it to be as strong and large as possible. Of course, it should never cross into egocentrism. Each of us has met a person who radiates self-confidence. It is visible from miles away because it is very difficult, almost impossible to fake. In the last twenty to thirty years, self-confidence has been increasingly written and spoken about. Naturally, there has been more writing about what it should be like, how to achieve it, polish it, bring it to perfection so that each of us can radiate it. And that, of course, everyone sees. For the desire for this, for the extra improvement of oneself, even in excessive amounts, the environment and the media are to blame in the last twenty years.

To confirm this thesis, one must return to the past and observe what was published and how. We are not talking about news media, but primarily those dealing with lifestyle. We all remember the beginnings of MTV. This is a television channel that has pushed boundaries throughout its existence, some would say even the boundaries of good taste (although that is debatable today). If each of us rummaged a bit in our rooms and found old VHS tapes, because we all recorded MTV’s programs, we would notice that the shows from the late 80s and 90s are ultra-modest by today’s standards, while they were characterized at the time as Sodom and Gomorrah.

The beginnings of the mega-popular show ‘Jackass’ were not nearly as brutal as similar shows today. Nudity in the media back then was not even close to what it is today. Although it may seem from these sentences that the author of the text is a member of the ‘In the Name of the Family’ association or any similar group from Kaptol, no, quite the opposite. However, if we were to analyze the mentioned things and compare them with today, everyone would see the drastic difference. And what does all this have to do with self-confidence? A lot. The media today are more accessible than ever, not only to adults but also to children.

When we were kids, we watched the series ‘Beverly Hills’. Compare it with a similar newer series, for example, ‘Gossip Girl’, and you will conclude – in the latter, it is normal to look like a movie star from morning till night, and probably even at night while you sleep; it is normal to sleep with everyone (not to use other, inappropriate words), and to do so very often, without any consequences or thoughts about them. MTV airs the series ‘Teen Mom’ which follows the lives of pregnant girls, about sixteen years old. Both those girls and that series are quite popular in the USA. All of this, along with, of course, many lifestyle magazines and portals, significantly influences the development of children. Because what do they actually see? They see beautiful, happy, rich, indestructible young people who are constantly on television and are very famous. And then they look in the mirror, turn around, and see where they live. Unfortunately, especially when we talk about teenagers, who are extremely sensitive and in a delicate phase of psychophysical development, many of them will not be happy with what they see. Then, in the misfortune of their lives, they turn to the perfections they are bombarded with from all sides and try to become like their idols.

How many times have we seen girls, primarily Americans, whose parents gifted them new breasts or noses? How many times have we seen an aesthetic surgeon on some domestic television giving someone a new look to be more perfect, to boost their self-confidence? How many times have we watched someone’s ‘makeover’ on television where an ugly duckling suddenly turned into a swan (we do not mean people who have serious problems due to scars or accidents they have experienced or similar)? The answer is: more and more often. However, that makeup and hairstyle will fade, and those people will again stand in front of the mirror and see the same person – themselves. There is no media in Croatia, and probably in the world, that has not published some list of five, ten, fifteen, or twenty tricks and ways to boost self-confidence. We did a little ‘googling’ and came across several interesting tips:

‘There are many small tricks that will instantly restore your attractiveness. Here are fifty quick, easy, and sexy energy boosters,’ it says on one of many portals. Among other things, they list: ‘Put a bag of herbal tea in your underwear drawer. When you wear it, it will smell wonderful, and your daily routine will gain a sensual note.’ ‘Going grocery shopping should be… without panties.’ ‘Change the part in your hair. This will change your appearance, and people will shower you with flattering looks all day.’ ‘Incorporate energetic words like ‘passionate’ and ‘stimulating’ into your everyday conversation.’ And so on…

Here are a few examples of how to boost self-confidence in just seven days: On the first day, discover the source of your self-confidence issues. On the second day, decide to change. On the third, start loving yourself. On the fourth, persevere and reward yourself for every success. On the fifth, believe in changes, on the sixth, set boundaries and learn to say no, and on the seventh day, move on. Jokes aside, lack of self-confidence is at the root of many problems in life.

People with low self-confidence do not end unhealthy relationships, are dissatisfied at work, yet do not change it. They are convinced of their physical shortcomings, have health issues, and are eternal victims. Unfortunately, these are the consequences of what we wrote at the beginning of the text. These are the consequences of everything we watched while we were children, the role models we had, who later disappointed us because we realized at some point that they are not real and that they actually do not exist. This is a problem for children today who have access to everything and anything. This is a problem because parents, unfortunately, have to work so much to earn a few kunas and thus provide them with a decent life and lay the foundations for some future. Everyone today strives for perfection. We all want to look like someone else, have a life like someone else. The grass in the neighbor’s yard is always greener and more beautiful. However, it is time to tidy up our yard and leave the neighbor’s grass alone because our grass and yard will always be the most beautiful, no matter what anyone thinks about it.