Why I (Don’t) Love Consultants?

Superguru of strategic management Gary Hamel has given a recommendation to consultants: If you are traditional strategy consultants, beware. If I were the CEO, why would I pay your twenty-nine-year-old to teach me about the industry? Wouldn’t it be better for my twenty-nine-year-old, or anyone else from my company, to do that?

A young gentleman with gel in his hair, dressed in an expensive suit, drives through the wastelands of Croatian stone fields in a luxury business car and spots an old grandfather tending sheep by the roadside. The business challenge immediately kicks in, and he stops his car as if by accident, gets out, and starts a conversation with the grandfather about the weather, a bit of politics, sports, and after about ten minutes throws out the question: “Grandfather, let me guess how many sheep you have. If I guess right, you give me a lamb, and if not, I give you a hundred euros. Is that fair?” The grandfather rolls a cigarette, looks at him sideways, and after a while says: “Alright, let it be, son.”
The son goes back to the car, opens his laptop, connects to who knows what, and after about ten minutes comes out saying: “Grandfather, you have exactly one hundred and fifteen sheep. Did I guess right?” The grandfather looks at him and after a “hm” says: “You did, son, your lamb.” Without further ado, the young gentleman catches his prey, puts it in the trunk, and just as he is about to leave, the grandfather calls out: “Hey son, you can’t just leave like that without giving me a chance to get back at you?” “What do you mean, grandfather? Didn’t I earn it fairly?”
To that, the grandfather replies: “No way, son, fair is fair, but wouldn’t it be fair for you to give me a chance to get back at you?” “How did you mean that, grandfather?” asks the young gentleman. “Well, here’s how it goes: if I guess what you do, then you give it back to me, and if I don’t guess, then I give you another lamb. I think that’s fair.” “Alright, grandfather, it’s a deal,” agrees the young gentleman.
The grandfather rolls a cigarette, grins mischievously, and says: “You are my son, the consultant. Did I guess right?” The gentleman shakes a bit and replies: “Well, you really did guess, but can you tell me how you guessed that?” Again the grandfather responds after a hm: “It wasn’t that hard. There are three reasons why it was easy. First, you came without anyone calling you. Second, you are telling me what I have known for a long time and want to charge me dearly for it. And third, just so you know, that knowledge of yours isn’t much, because what you took isn’t a lamb but my dog.”

I have heard many jokes about consultants, but this one somehow resonated with me the best, not so much because of the lamb, but more because it best describes (clearly in my opinion) the standard consulting job in Croatia. That things can be different reminds me of quotes and texts from the so-called “superguru of strategic management” Gary Hamel, who gave a recommendation to consultants: – If you are traditional strategy consultants, beware. If I were the CEO, why would I pay your twenty-nine-year-old to teach me about the industry? Wouldn’t it be better for my twenty-nine-year-old, or anyone else from my company, to do that? Therefore, start creating in those you advise, the ability for strategic inventiveness. Work so that your job becomes redundant!

It must be acknowledged that this is a very sincere and honest recommendation that follows the old proverb that a person who needs help should not be given a fish but a fishing rod. Following him, many foreign, even very well-known CEOs have banned the use of consultants in their companies, justifying that their people must know best about the market, opportunities, and competition, not someone from the outside.

However, the Croatian circumstances are somewhat different. Here, management (especially of state companies) hires external consultants (clearly without asking for the price) mainly to justify their incompetence to the owners with the claim, “See how experts have agreed on our plans and strategies.”

Management is generally not qualified to create such strategic documents with their teams and people they brought along, so the rational question is what they are actually qualified for? On the other hand, these hired experts always write what the one who will pay their invoice wants, knowing that in the end, no one reads it anyway. And for those who will read those documents, the old two rules apply – first: The study must be thick, with lots of colorful graphs, and – second: All graphs show an upward trend, except for one. That graph with a downward trend is called costs.

The most fruitful year for consultants in Croatia is certainly the year after elections. Just as the year before elections is dry, the year after elections is a real fruitful year. After elections, the government usually changes, then the division of functions begins, but also, and much more importantly, getting the new team acquainted with the situation. Let’s take our highways as an example. Millions of pixels and toners have been spent discussing them, but the new Minister of Transport was not greeted by a single coherent study, analysis, or proposal on what and how to deal with them. Management has changed as if on a conveyor belt, so perhaps that is the reason why none has yet coherently answered the questions – “Is this the only model you propose and which is the best?” Because let’s be realistic, if the old management couldn’t answer those questions, the question arises as to why they were getting paid and …

And then not so long ago, the EBRD swoops in and gives the ministry half a million euros to create a study. I deeply believe that along with the money came the condition that such a study must be done by some foreign consultants, because that money is exactly how much they cost, while our domestic consultants should cost much less.
However, regardless of all that, when that study is completed, I would like to see the proposals and whether it can answer my questions – is it worth introducing vignettes for cars and what about trucks? Is there a possibility, for example, to introduce so-called happy days during the winter period? A drastic reduction in toll prices, because it is better to earn something when the highway is empty anyway. Maybe that day will come when we will know the price of the highway to the sea only the day before the trip, because the price will change just like the price of gasoline. According to the old economic law of supply and demand, which it seems many have forgotten in their studies.