In her 1963 book ‘The Feminine Mystique’, feminist Betty Friedan coined the phrase ‘the problem that has no name’ or, more loosely, ‘the nameless problem’ which refers to the dissatisfaction that spreads like an epidemic among American mothers and housewives. More than half a century later, this problem has a name, but also a Facebook profile, an Instagram account, and a blog.
This ‘performative motherhood’, as the problem is termed by Marketing Magazine, which mothers witness while ‘scrolling’ through others’ lives on social media, combined with a flood of branded virtual content, becomes a source of oppression rather than inspiration. According to the ’21st Century Mothers’ research by Baby Centre, women who have become mothers for the first time spend 7.8 hours a day online, while in 2014 they spent slightly less, 7.5 hours. Almost half of mothers (45 percent) with children under five say they have a strong need to check what is happening on social media daily, and two-thirds live under the imperative to achieve some form of perfection in raising small children.
High Expectations As Lisa Freitag, director of Baby Centre, stated to the aforementioned magazine, it is clear that mothers are under immense pressure, and brands do them no favors; rather, they exacerbate feelings of dissatisfaction because they simply do not understand their vulnerability at this stage of life. Social media has allowed mothers to express their creativity and gain a sense of community (connecting with other mothers, sharing experiences, etc.), but it also offers a sea of unfiltered information, various, often contradictory opinions (it is easy to think they are doing something wrong because they learn on social media that they are doing differently from some users), and photoshopped realities that can make them feel inadequate. Brands that allocate increasing shares of their marketing budgets for digital communication and content creation on Facebooks and Twitters should not ignore the fact that mothers, especially young ones, feel overwhelmed in the virtual world, inundated with all kinds of content that undoubtedly affects, perhaps more than at any other stage in life, how they perceive themselves. Of course, this weight and pressure of becoming mothers they feel is nothing new, nor is it a product of the virtual world, but it is certainly a source of a new wave of unrealistic expectations. Former marketing director at Nike, Caroline Whaley, recognized this problem and, together with partners, launched the leadership workshop ‘Shine for Women’ which helps women and mothers cope with this entirely new dimension of stress.
Total Motherhood As she explained to reporters from Marketing Magazine, women will never say they are successful as long as they are not successful in all their roles. They want to be great mothers, the best wives, excellent at their jobs, and, of course, look good. Therefore, only if they are satisfied with their role in all these areas will they be satisfied with themselves as human beings. Women are, therefore, very strict with themselves, and often achieving these expectations is an impossible mission (Really, who can boast perfection in all roles – and does it even exist?). For this reason, brands should be very cautious in their communication with the female population. If they focus on one aspect of their lives, portraying them in their advertisements in a one-dimensional way (for example, as perfect housewives choosing the best laundry detergent), they amplify their dissatisfaction and negatively impact their self-confidence. Mothers are even more vulnerable in this regard because they do not see themselves as responsible only for themselves but also for the small creature that depends on them. Professor Joan Wolf from Texas Women’s Studies coined the phrase ‘total motherhood’ which refers to the complete assumption of responsibility for all possible risks to which a child may be exposed, which, of course, creates incredible stress. Thus, mothers, especially those who spend hours surfing the virtual world where they find vast amounts of information about motherhood, are pressured by hypothetical problems that create feelings of guilt and fear. Marketing Magazine claims that recognizing such feelings, as well as the pressures that modern motherhood brings, is an opportunity for brands. Instead of attracting ‘clicks’ with content that does not communicate with women and mothers, or does not hit the right state of affairs, but only one dimension, brands should play the card of compassion, but also encouragement.
