Due to etiquette, businesswomen stand when greeting

Perfect forms of conduct are more important today than ever. They help establish business connections, evoke sympathy, contribute to success, recognition, and reputation in society.

The way out of the maze of various dilemmas is offered by the book by authors Anke Quittschau and Christine Tabernig ‘Business Etiquette: One Hundred Most Important Rules of Conduct’ in Croatian translation by Višnja Bedenko and Bojana Zeljko-Lipovšćak and published by the Soroptimist International Zagreb Center and Medicinska naklada. This small pocket-sized manual can be a reliable advisor in sensitive situations of business everyday life.

Since Louis XIV.

Although the book is written for the German-speaking area and reflects the German cultural scene, it is certainly useful for Croatian business people when we know that Germany is the third largest direct foreign investor in Croatia, the second Croatian foreign trade partner, and the first in terms of arrivals and overnight stays of foreign tourists in 2014. Furthermore, Germany and Croatia belong to the same European cultural circle, so there cannot be significant cultural differences. In which situations are the rules of etiquette most often violated? In my experience, during introductions, handshakes, and the use of mobile phones. It is important to remember that we always introduce the younger to the older, the lower-ranked to the higher-ranked, and a man to a woman.

In the Croatian language, we use the word ‘bonton’ for rules of conduct, which originates from French and originally means ‘good sound’ or ‘good tone’. The French rarely use this term; they prefer to speak of etiquette. The term ‘etiquette’ dates back to the time of French King Louis XIV, who ordered that papers and signs, so-called etiquettes, with court orders and prohibitions be placed everywhere. The king placed great importance on respecting these rules. This was the beginning of establishing the rules of conduct that are valid today, primarily in business. Many of the rules from that time have since changed and simplified, but at business lunches and dinners, official receptions, and celebrations, many traps still lurk for those who have not perfectly mastered etiquette.

First, the hand to an acquaintance

In the business environment, insufficient knowledge in this area quickly becomes apparent, leaving a negative impression on colleagues, superiors, and business partners. Among other things, the book ‘Business Etiquette: One Hundred Most Important Rules of Conduct’ clearly explains, with examples, who offers their hand during a handshake. For example, you are invited for an interview about possible employment and enter the office of your future superior. In the usual friendly manner, you extend your hand to greet him first. Is this correct? No, the first hand is offered by the person of higher rank. Therefore, do not overdo it with politeness and extend your hand first to the (future) superior when entering his office. Wait for the person of higher rank to decide on this. If you have already extended your hand, do not pull it back. The other party must always respond to the extended hand. Anything else is impolite.

A good example is two colleagues who accidentally meet while shopping on a Saturday. Both are in the company of unknown women. The first friend extends his hand in greeting, but the second says: ‘Ladies first!’ and does not accept the offered hand, but extends his to the unknown lady. This man probably had the best intentions, but he made three mistakes: first, he rejected the offered hand; second, he reprimanded his colleague in front of a stranger, and third, he greeted a person he does not know at all. Instead, he should have first greeted the person he knows. After that, he should have waited to be introduced or introduced himself. The rule to follow is to first greet the person you know, and then wait to be introduced or introduce yourself.

Three seconds for a handshake

And how to offer a hand to another? A handshake says a lot about a person and can seem unappealing or even intrusive to the other. It can signify a display of power: grasping the extended hand with both hands or tapping the upper arm with the other hand (such behavior is only allowed among friends), or pressing down on the knees (pressing the extended hand so hard that the other almost falls to their knees). ‘Wet rag’ is the term for a limp handshake because you get the impression that someone has placed a wet rag in your hand instead of a hand. When a person extends their hand but continues to talk to someone else, it shows disinterest. A proper handshake should be firm and last from one to three seconds. The hand is offered, not shaken. While doing this, look the other person in the eye, and in summer, remove your sunglasses (unless they are tinted prescription glasses). What if the other person does not let go of your hand? Simply relax yours. This will signal that you want your hand back. If the other person is not completely devoid of emotion, they will feel the limp hand and release it.
The rule is to pay attention to the handshake. It should not be too strong or too weak and should last no more than three seconds. Always look the person you are shaking hands with kindly in the eye.

Mobile phone etiquette

The use of mobile phones in both business and private life often takes on caricatural proportions. How many times have you, while riding a tram, inadvertently learned everything about the current family situation of a person who was talking in a crowded tram as if sitting in their living room, not even trying to lower their voice? The use of mobile phones in everyday business life requires adherence to additional rules: if during a meeting your mobile phone must remain on because you are expecting an important call, announce this to the participants. Turn off the ringtone and, while talking, leave the meeting room. Do not have the phone on the table, but in your pocket. Choose a discreet ringtone. Have your voice recorded on the answering machine. If a call comes at an inconvenient time, do not simply reject it, but answer and say you will call back later. The time for business contacts, depending on the activity, is between 8 AM and 6 PM; it is unacceptable to call between 10 PM and 8 AM. It is also unprofessional to hide the caller’s number, as it gives the impression that you want to hide something.

The authors of the manual describe how during a business etiquette training they held at a company, a mobile phone rang. The department head who organized the training for his colleagues and himself took the phone out of his pocket, answered it, and continued talking at a normal volume. The whole group watched him, but he did not even try to leave the room. Only after a minute, after the lecture continued despite the disturbance, did he stand up and, speaking loudly on the phone, head towards the door. He paused at the door and said something else on the phone. It seems he was completely indifferent to how he was disturbing both the lecturer and the listeners, putting himself in the spotlight.

During a meeting, whether it is at your place or outside, you should turn off or mute mobile and smart phones. Vibrations can be heard from pockets or bags. Ringing will disturb not only other participants but also your concentration. If you are expecting a truly important call, for example, from your pregnant wife, inform others that your mobile phone is on. Leave the room during the conversation. Even if you announced the call, do not place the mobile phone on the conference table, as this will send the message to the interlocutor that you are always ready to take a call and that they are not important to you. During a meeting, it is impolite to read incoming emails on your smartphone. Every participant in the meeting feels devalued this way.

Rules for ladies

And finally, but no less important, etiquette also has some news for ladies. Gender equality is reflected in modern rules of conduct – a businesswoman stands when greeting. Many years ago, one of our somewhat controversial ministers caused a stir by stating that she stands before men, but perhaps according to the criteria of modern etiquette, she was not entirely wrong.

When greeting, you should stand up. For example, you are sitting with a colleague and a business partner at a conference table. A colleague joins you to present a product. When they approach the table to greet the visitors, only the male colleagues stand up, while the female colleagues and guests remain seated. Is this correct? When someone approaches to greet you, you should stand up. This applies to both men and women, as it shows respect. In the business world, women feel more comfortable communicating at the same height and not having to strain their necks to communicate with someone taller. If you are sitting at a desk, stand up and walk around it, thus removing the obstacle. Then offer the visitors a seat. Women can remain seated in private situations and at dances, unless an older lady approaches them. It is not always easy to determine who is younger. If you stand up before a younger lady, you have not made a mistake; you have expressed respect. According to the rules of etiquette, in the business world, both women and men will stand to greet.