When Did the Man Disappear?!

Oh man, human being, there is a crisis. Now there is really a crisis.

The association ‘In the Name of the Family’ has requested that marriage be defined in the Constitution as a union of a man and a woman. Let’s analyze this primitively. It is natural that marriage consists of a man and a woman. Why is that natural? Because we decided so ourselves. Short and clear, and that’s it. Just as we place our political leadership ourselves. But fine, I would rather shoot myself than start a treatise on politics.

In any case, the association has requested that marriage be defined as a union of a man and a woman. No less, no more, but in the Constitution, the fundamental legal act of this tiny state! Having been paranoidized by a parade once a year, in the name of the family they have occupied the city, set up booth headquarters, terrorized people, filled media columns like a comic strip in installments, awaited numbers that would enable them to make tectonic changes to this sick society… Because, otherwise, if you didn’t know, same-sex marriage is quite common in Croatia, just as it is common and allowed to smoke marijuana in the middle of the street, so that now needs to be eradicated because THAT is the fundamental, the only, the most important problem of this society. And what is the whole point of this parade? What do you gain from marriage besides property? Why shouldn’t Berislav take the TV, and Marko the computer? Isn’t the fundamental principle of the Constitution – everyone is equal before the law? (Unless the computer is an Apple, and the TV is some Chinese one). Who is crazy here?!

But, stupidly, they miscalculated the votes a bit, mixed up the numbers and the voter registry, and announced that they have enough for a referendum. They will have to be patient, stop rushing, and let some better mathematician count the votes. In the meantime, I have to share Matija Babić’s status on Facebook, you know, that page where small crusades are increasingly fought: ‘…One thing is common to all those Catholic fundamentalists at the booths and in the associations for which I understand their fight against homosexuality. When you see and hear them, it is clear to you that something that looks more like a human can fall out of a gay’s ass than from them.’ What to add, except, really, where has the man gone? And when did the man disappear?

If the answer starts to be sought in health education, it would be: somewhere in the steps. The Constitutional Court abolished the Health Education Curriculum for procedural reasons. To put it bluntly, if we scratch a little beyond the bureaucracy, it is unimaginable that ‘gay is okay’ and that ‘Desanka Šakić’ will not fall off from masturbation. Yes, without a weekly sex education class, children will not know either how they come into the world, nor other dirty details. Until they leave school, they will think that they were brought by a stork, that homosexuality is transmitted like AIDS by touch, and that by masturbating they will become, medically speaking, idiots. I wonder who is actually the idiot in all this – them, you, us, you, or me? (If I am, please, do not answer. Thank you.)