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Dissatisfaction Can Be a Catalyst for Positive Change

Changes are driven by love, interest, curiosity, need, but also dissatisfaction.

Although many new-age gurus will tell you that the feeling of dissatisfaction is negative and that we should exorcise it like a devil with incense, dissatisfaction is a precious alarm that warns us it is time for change. Roughly, I would divide people into two large groups: those who hear the alarm and act, and those who hear the alarm and hit ‘snooze’. You will recognize the latter by their endless arguments as to why something cannot be done, for which they always blame fallen prime ministers and ministers, crises, employers, partners, in short, everyone but themselves. Through inertia, their acute dissatisfaction turns into chronic, and suddenly it becomes more comfortable to remain in that state than to change it. Lethargy often creeps in, gradually robbing its victim of the passion for action. This reminds me of an experiment with frogs in which the temperature in the pool was gradually raised until it reached a temperature that would instantly kill them if they had jumped into that pool unprepared. But as the changes occurred gradually, the frogs calmly adapted to the newly created, fatal conditions for them. A sure indicator that you have not yet ‘boiled’ is the passion with which you approach your work. Although she knows that change can happen any Thursday at a government meeting, Tamara Obradović Mazal, Deputy Minister of Economy, says: ‘In a system defined by politics, I have been doing a job I love, which is my passion, for about 12 or 13 years, and that is success. Whether I will do this tomorrow or in a month – we are all replaceable, no one is irreplaceable – until then, my heart is in my work.’

From a psychological perspective, the problem is an opportunity, says Zora Subotić, a psychotherapist and expert associate on the project ’21 Paths to Success’. ‘Every person, consciously or unconsciously, has their ‘highest’ dream and ‘lowest’ dream about themselves and what their life can be. The entire human life, all aspirations, actions, ups and downs, is organized around these two extremes. The highest dream contains everything great and high that someone can achieve and be in their life, while the lowest contains all fears, potential failures, the worst and most terrifying experiences, and possible outcomes of someone’s life. Winners and losers differ in that winners live striving for success, achieving their highest dreams and living in their direction, while losers invest their life energy constantly fighting against all the terrible things that can happen to them, living on the edge of survival and being happy every time they avoid failure. Some fight against obstacles, others sail freely between them, discovering solutions. For winners, every problem, crisis, difficult and demanding life situation is actually a catalyst and an opportunity – an opportunity for development, learning, and success – and usually results in new, creative achievements.

Most people live in a zone of safety and low risk, occasionally touching their own boundaries and glimpsing the possible space beyond them, fearing to move either ‘up’ or ‘down’ into areas of their being, potential, and life changes. Because while the realization of the highest life dream waits with all possible successes, blessings, and riches, the lowest lurks with all fears, failures, and ‘monsters’ that wave, threaten, and wait to be overcome on the way to the stars.

Jadranka Boban – Pejić, a panelist of the project 21 Paths to Success, admits that stubbornness is her driving force: ‘Even today, if you want to provoke something in me, tell me ‘it cannot be done’. That rebelliousness that follows me has marked me since childhood.’ And indeed, in the language of the successful, ‘it cannot be done’ means ‘it cannot be done this way’. And there may be a string of failures, sacrificing many nights to achieve ‘overnight success’, but that high tolerance threshold for ‘it cannot be done’ is what distinguishes the successful from the unsuccessful. It is as if we are all in life leaning on a slingshot elastic, every ‘it cannot be done’ is a step backward. Is the successful one who knows how to assess when the elastic is perfectly stretched, neither too loose nor too tight, but just enough to launch us towards the goal?

About the Project

The project ’21 Paths to Success’ aims to convey key messages and ideas to young people based on the stories and experiences of 21 successful women who have built their careers in Croatia, all with the goal of highlighting the opportunities, potential, and perspective that young women (and men) can have, find, or create themselves in Croatia.
The project consists of a series of 7 panel discussions featuring 3 successful women from different segments – economy, politics, culture and art, civil society, and the academic community.
The first panel was held on November 28, featuring guests Mirela Holy, Jelena Veljača, and Manuela Šola, with the next one on December 19. The panel schedule is January 23, February 20, March 20, April 24, and May 22.