Learn to Argue! It’s the Path to Better Business Solutions

Besides being a true poison for interpersonal relationships, office arguments can also play a purposeful role in finding innovations, being a source of problem-solving, and improving performance. The trick is simply this: disagreements must be accepted and actively managed.  

Prepared by Darija Tabulov-Truta
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Inevitable as the change of day is the fact that even in the most harmonious office paradise, sooner or later, sparks of disagreement or argument will erupt, and perhaps even thunder a blatant aggressive conflict. However, besides being a true poison for interpersonal relationships, office arguments can also play a purposeful role in finding innovations, being a source of problem-solving, and improving performance. The realization of the potentials of constructive argument does not make managing this risky situation any easier, which can easily spiral out of control. Disagreement with colleagues at work is never pleasant, and if the situation is poorly managed or not given the appropriate attention, the result can be unproductive. Moreover, it can have serious consequences for the specific business that prompted them or permanently damage relationships. Nevertheless, with a little planning and wisdom, a larger conflict can be avoided, and the desired solution to a business problem can be found while the conflicting parties reach a consensus.

Open Minds
Most conflicts bring negative passions to the surface or deepen disagreements, claims Jeff Weiss, founder of Vantage Partners LLC and co-author of the article ‘Want Collaboration? Embrace – and Actively Manage – Conflict!’ published in Harvard Business Review. In both cases, unfortunately, all parties leave dissatisfied with the outcome and unhappy about it. Productive and constructive arguing begins in your state of awareness.
– Assume that you can learn and hear something new, assume that there are more creative solutions to your business problem than you can find – advises Weiss. By initiating a discussion with an open mind, regardless of your colleagues’ viewpoints, you are already on the path to finding common ground. Indeed, properly and carefully initiating a discussion requires time and attention, but it is always a worthwhile investment of strength and time. If nothing else, you have the opportunity to see the starting point of your opponents. You can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Prepare for the dispute. This means thoroughly examining your own position and thesis and trying to understand your colleagues’ viewpoints as best as possible. Before approaching them, Judit White, a professor at Business Administration at Tuck School of Business and author of the book ‘Why It Pays to Peek Inside Your Opponents’ Heads’, advises that you thoroughly question your basic intentions.

Identifying the Problem
Weiss distinguishes three types of disagreements among business colleagues: those related to dissatisfaction with the task, those that reveal relationships among colleagues, and those that show different views on the problem and its solution. This realization can ease your approach and simplify the conversation. So, first discover what is behind it, what type of dissatisfaction it is, and then check if your colleagues agree with that discovery. However, regardless of the nature of the dispute, always strive to leave your emotions at the door, as it is clear to everyone that disagreements are most easily resolved with a cool head, rationally and objectively. At this stage, you must also pay attention to logistics. Schedule a meeting at a time that gives you enough time to reach a conclusion and examine as many facts as possible. And definitely arrange a face-to-face meeting in a somewhat ‘private’ atmosphere, which will contribute to the desire for agreement.

To start a difficult conversation correctly, it is important that you and your colleagues first find something you do agree on. This can be a common goal or a set of common operational rules that you agreed upon upon joining the company. To start, you might say something like: ‘We both want to devise a plan that will take the company to the next level’ or ‘We can agree that we will be thorough regarding the decision we need to make.’ Be sure to build the common platform on something your colleague truly values, not on what you think should be important to them. Before you proceed, check if you have the interlocutor’s consent. It wouldn’t hurt to show your colleague that you value your relationship with them. This way, you will also show them that your disagreement with their viewpoint is not personal.

Solution C
Even if you believe you understand very well from which perspective your colleague is speaking, you must listen to what they have to say. Ask questions that will show you their perspective on things and then consider whether it is a disagreement that functions on different interests or different perceptions. According to Weiss, this requires you to stop thinking about your next sentence and actively listen. – Don’t just listen to someone’s story but swallow the whole package. Stay open to persuasion after your colleague finishes their explanation because perhaps their side of the story reveals an important piece of information that can lead to a solution. For example, if they say they simply represent a viewpoint that makes their boss happy, you can help them articulate a solution aligned with that boss’s ideas. Only after you have listened to your colleague can you present your viewpoint, and do so by showing the interlocutor from which positions you drew your conclusions. Even if it challenges your interpretation again, allow them to vent and express their frustration – advises Weiss.

After all the information is ‘on the table’, offer a solution or conclusion. However, do not revert to your initial position and justify your conclusion with those arguments, but include everything you heard during the previous conversation. Synthesize all of it. You might say, for example: ‘You said A, I say B, maybe we can find a solution C.’ And do not expect a combative stance, adds Weiss. If they are not satisfied with the proposed solution, try to involve your colleague in solving the problem that awaits you, one that you both can live with.

When It Gets ‘Nasty’
However, even with a well-thought-out approach, some disagreements can still become ‘nasty’. – Most often, discussions escalate into real battles when they cross personal boundaries – notes Judit White. If the bickering heats up, try to bring the discussion back to the beginning, that is, to common interests or goals. Redirect the focus of the conversation to the future. – You cannot resolve a battle over an already arisen problem, but you can change direction towards future events – advises White. If your colleague remains antagonistic or even aggressive, it may be best to take a break and postpone further discussion until everyone cools down a bit. You can also leave the room or take a mental break while you assess the events and try to predict the course of the conversation. This distancing from the situation can help you see what is really happening. You can always try a completely different process: take a piece of paper to do a little brainstorming or move the discussion to a café or restaurant, as it is well known that food and drink placate people. After all, a drink or a nice meal is the best way to heal the wounds or patch up the nerves you have spent on the conflict. And if that doesn’t help, seek a third party as a mediator.